


The Protégé Wishes To Inform You

by spazzatura_fantasma



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: One Shot, Papa Emeritus - Freeform, Papa Emeritus II - Freeform, Papa Emeritus III - Freeform, Short One Shot, cardinal copia - Freeform, ghost bc - Freeform, papa emeritus i - Freeform, papa nihil, papa nil - Freeform, the band ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 18:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14598729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spazzatura_fantasma/pseuds/spazzatura_fantasma
Summary: Someone should tell III to hold his tongue, you don't want to piss off the protégé....





	The Protégé Wishes To Inform You

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is assuming that the Emeritus brothers stuck around for a bit after the Cardinal's "promotion".
> 
> Smol warning for bad words and sex mention.
> 
> This was just something stupid and funny my dumb brain whipped up ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Copia locked his office door behind him and made his way towards Nihil's quarters.

Finding time to prepare this month's financial statement was especially difficult. His new role as Papa-in-training was simply draining.

Dance practice, vocal coaching, outfit fittings, his opinion asked on every little thing for this upcoming tour.

All of this, and he still was expected to maintain his existing responsibilities as Cardinal.

He barely had enough time to feed the rats.

No, this sort of schedule could not be maintained for much longer. He was actually looking forward to the tour, getting away from his usual church duties. He just hoped he wouldn't pass out from exhaustion when he got up on stage.

It would be good to speak to Nihil. Primarily about the absurd amount of cash the church seemed to be flying through but also, to ask for some advice. He craved for someone to show him the way, or just give him a little bit of guidance.

Copia reached the door of the common room to Papa Nihil's quarters. To his surprise, it was left ajar. Inside, he heard a familiar voice.

"Look here Papa, this one comes in a black lacquer!"

"Oh my.. but son, don't you think $6,000 is a bit too expensive?"

"Not at all Papa, you must live while you are alive! And uh, be sure to add a few packs uno cards to the cart. II keeps ripping them apart."

Ugh. III.

Copia gently knocked on the wooden door before entering.

Nihil was seated in his usual vintage, wing back chair, holding an iPad in his wrinkled hands. His youngest son was sat on the arm rest, helping him navigate the online shopping portal.

"Hello Papa... III..."

III kept scrolling, not even glancing up.

"Oh hello Cardinal, please do come in. My youngest son, you remember my youngest son, he is helping me use the new technology. You see I'd like to purchase a new saxophone and-"

Copia interrupted, "If I may Papa Nihil, it is exactly this kind of spending I've come to talk with you about."

He held his leather-bound finance booklet in front of him, "You do remember our financial meeting this afternoon, don't you?"

III looked up, "Of course he did, but then his favorite son decided to pay him a visit... So, Copia, if you'll excuse us."

Addressing him by his first name was a clear sign of disrespect. Copia felt his upper lip twinge in disgust. He never liked that pompous, princely III.

"Oh no, son. I made an appointment with the Cardinal and I know his time is precious. You know, he's been very busy since he took your job."

Copia smugly smirked and sat in the chair next to his.

He put on his reading glasses and handed Papa his pair. It was easier for Copia to hang onto them, as Nihil used to spend the first hour of their previous meetings searching for them.

"If you would Papa, look at section six hundred and sixty-six."

Nihil held his copy of the report inches from his face, as III tried to read it as well.

"You see, the first figure is the cost for my upcoming tour expenses."

III scoffed, "I seem to remember my first tour costing much more."

Copia continued, "And the next figure is what I have titled 'miscellaneous costs'. As you can see, both figures are similar in size."

Nihil nodded, "I see your point, Cardinal. But what are these miscellaneous costs?"

Copia removed his glasses, "If I may be blunt, Papa Nihil, these costs are a conjoined effort between you and your three sons. This is what we are paying to support your lavish spending habits, such as the one I just walked in on."

"And why shouldn't my father spoil himself?", III interjected. "He brought this Church up from the pits of hell, does he not deserve a little luxury?"

Papa Nihil patted his son's knee and chuckled.

III rose to his feet. Here comes another one of his monologues...

"Where would we be today, without this magnificent Church of Satan?"

III always spoke with grand hand gestures when he wanted to make a point. Copia began rubbing a temple as he was lectured, growing impatient.

"This beautiful church, which we all have had the esteemed privilege of being raised in."

III approached the Cardinal, "And where would you be, Copia, if it were not for my father's charity?"

Oh. He didn't.

Copia got up from his chair, "What exactly are you implying, III?"

"I am not implying anything, Cardinal. I am simply stating the truth. If my Papa had not grown this church into the grand lavishness that it is today, well, I would still be my father's son. But you..."

Copia had no patience for this. He was running himself ragged keeping up with the demands of the father, only to have insults spewed at him from the son.

"You know III.. this meeting was strictly scheduled for myself and Papa.. your presence is hardly necessary."

"Excuse me Cardinal, but you may recall my full, Satanic name is Papa Emeritus the Third."

"Exactly my point. As third in the line for succession, these matters hardly concern you. With all due respect, now that your era in music is finished, you may return to your card game with your retired brothers."

From behind came a female voice, "Papa Nihil! Wake up now Papa, it's time for your afternoon bath. I'll even let you take one of your saxophones in with you!"

A Sister of Sin was gently shaking Nihil, who had fallen asleep during the argument.

"Oh- oh! Already? My, my Cardinal time does fly by. I look forward to our next meeting. Thank you for gracing me with your presence today, son. Tell your brothers I said no more nose breaking, eheheh."

The sister led Nihil around the corner, leaving the younger men standing there.

The Cardinal quickly gathered his things and began walking down the corridor. What a complete waste of time.

III grabbed his father's copy of the financial report and followed him.

"You must think pretty high and mighty of yourself, Copia. Especially with this so-called 'costly' tour budget. Back in my glamorous era we-"

He stopped and spun around to face III.

"How dare you."

"Wha-?"

"Bringing up my past... just to make yourself look good in front of your father!"

"Well Copia, it's not as if its some secret. We grew up together. I can remember the exact day that Sister Imperator brought you in off the streets." He put his arm around the Cardinal, "Everyone comes from somewhere, fratello."

"Don't 'fratello' me, III", he shrugged off his arm. "I know you think you're better than everyone, especially me. Always prancing around the church with girls hanging off of you, even when we were children."

III scoffed, "Girls? Copia, don't tell me you're picking this fight with me because of the womens. I can assure you, you will find plenty of pussy on your putrid plague tour."

Copia blushed, "I- I didn't mean that I just-"

"Oh fratello, if I knew that was the underlying issue I could have helped a long time ago! You must forgive me, it just can be so difficult to advise a man who's only friends are the rats and books under his bed."

Copia had enough. He was finally going to tell this obnoxious bastard what he thought.

"III... the protégé wishes to inform you that you may retreat back to your hole in the wall. The new era is here and it's more glorious and glamorous than anything you, or either of your washed up brother's, could dream up."

III simply stared perplexed as the Cardinal continued.

"This church doesn't need another Emeritus, it needs a Cardinal. We'll see who the fans love most. You think I don't have it in me? I'll show you and anyone else who doubts me. I'll fuck more fans than you could ever dream of, keep those ghouls in line better than you ever did, and be a better son to Nihil than you ever could be!"

The Cardinal was out of breath by the end of his rant. III stood silently. Embarrassed and drained of any remaining energy, Copia headed down the hall towards his office.

From behind he heard III put on a nasally voice, "Oh, I'm Cardinal Copia. My only friends are rats because I'm a stuck up, snobby, fashion boy. Oooh~"

"You are such a child", Copia didn't break stride.

"I pretend to be such a busy little man, I don't have any time for anyone but my stinky, stanky plague rats."

Copia kept up his brisk pace, "I am not responding to this display of immaturity."

~~~

Alone in his office at last, Copia sobbed to the rat perched on top of his biretta.

"It was horrible Rufus, just horrible! He followed me all the way down here and t-then he- he called me a REJECT NOSFERATU b-because of my e-ears. A-and then said V-Vincent Price would be ASHAMED of this moustache!"

The Cardinal blew his nose.

"But we'll show him won't we, Rufus?" He sniffed, "Our big break is coming up soon. You'll be the star of my first music video, just how I promised you would."

~~~

III's head rested on the table, sniveling as his oldest brother rubbed his back.

"He's r-right y'know...", the youngest sniffed. "We are all washed up!"

II rolled his eyes and asked in Italian, "Nevermind that, did ya get Papa to order the Uno cards??"


End file.
